Rambling

Its about that time of the year again when the wheels start turning, and change is coming. The time when you look back at the recent past one more time before you step across a new threshold, before you jump in head first.

Only a third of the year has gone by and already I feel I have accomplished so much more than I'd hoped for. For lack of creativity, my new year's resolutions have always been to be a better person than I'd been the year before. It was never anything specific. Just general ideas like trying to be more patient and less angry at the world.

But this year I actually put my goals into words. I decided I wanted to achieve more at school and try and get an 80% overall average. I decided I wanted to start actively taking care of myself from the inside out. I actually learned to wash and style my own hair after years of leaving it in the hands of the saloon women ( I dare not call them hairstyling professionals because they're definitely not that) and I cut down my daily skin care routine to just 3 products! That might not seem significant to some of you but for someone as self conscious as me, that is a major feat.

Here's my list of accomplishments this year.

1. Learned to let go sometimes and let things take their natural course.
2. Learned to recognise when to say no to certain situations
3. Learned to take care of my own hair
4. In the process of learning to make good meals.
5. Learned the value of simplicity and taking one's time
6. Reduced the quantity of artificial products I use overall

Now that I have put it into words, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I'm sure you can picture the proud smirk on my face anyway.
And you know that....The best is yet to come.

Sunday afternoons

The ceativity and execution of this idea just makes you stop and admire beauty in odd places

When the world has slowed down to a less hectic pace, you are left alone with you wandering thoughts. For me, Sunday afternoons are just so full of contemplation and reminiscing that I often find myself returning time and again to I wrote this for you and PostSecret just to remind myself of the signficance and potency of hope, love, faith and honesty, and to gain a little sense of companionship.

Even from anonymous strangers.

Hair-raising.

As more and more women fall into the natural hair movement, I find myself stuck at a crossroads, often questioning if I should follow suite. I have had natural hair before, twice, by my own free will. But both times I couldn't handle all the effort and work that went into maintaining it and getting it to look decent. I am much happier with my chemically treated hair. I find that its easier to manage, feels and looks healthier [because there isn't as much breakage] and is overall a joy to have.
But fearing the judgement and prosecution that is gathering speed against women with straightened hair, [cue India Arie, I am not my hair], I have been prowling around the net, keeping myself updated on the natural hair blogs. So imagine my surprise when I came across this article;

Rambling

Dreams are the illustrations...from the book your soul is writing about you - Marsha Norman

Here I am wondering out-loud again. Wondering where true inspiration comes from. So many say they are most inspired by the people around them... But it just so happens that sometimes the people around you are killing your inspiration instead. And you find yourself wanting to inspire them...

It is not so often any more that I come across something new and I go: "Brilliant idea! How creative!" Nowadays, the reaction is more like: "Oh that looks familiar, can't people be more creative?"

So here I am, wondering whether I will ever have a moment of pure brilliance, a Eureka! moment; and feel like I have contributed something significant to the world I live in. All this DIYing and sewing often has me feeling like a perpetual copycat, so come on people.... Inspire!

Waiting on the world

I was one of those kids...the over achievers.The ones who tried everything, read all the books, got the good marks and were on everyone's good side. And this kid grew into an over ambitious power hungry young lady. I could blame it on my small stature and always feeling the need to prove myself equal to anyone else, but deep down I always felt I was destined for greatness and the rest of the world just didn't know it yet.

Well, through my past and very recent trouble with wr3ckreation, I have persevered because of this conviction. After having started and failed at a couple of things I felt like to give up once more was not an option. I had to work harder...and harder till I made something of it.

Eventually I hope I will get there.But in the meantime...I'm just waiting on the world.

Aspiring ambition

Made this dress for a friend of mine (she altered the bottom) and she looked too good in it for me not to share

It has taken a while for me to finally feel like I have grown into myself, into the person I aspired to be. I just recently finished a big, REALLY big project (sewing 10 dresses in 2-3 weeks, not counting the two extra dresses I had to do last minute…) and I have to say, I’m reveling in this encompassing feeling of having successfully achieved something. I have achieved acknowledgement from my peers, and appreciation for the effort I put into my work.

I can’t help but have this cat-satisfied smile on my face as I bask in the congratulations and simple praises. The dresses themselves were nothing fancy, barely elevated from casual dresses by the use of colour blocking: but even I was quite skeptical when I volunteered in the beginning on whether or not I could get everything done in time. I am very glad (and proud) though, that my over-ambitiousness paid off and all I have to do now is actually try and make a monetary profit from the dresses.

A special thank you to my ever supportive siblings and friends who kept on insisting I couldn’t fail. If for nothing else, I couldn’t let all of you down. My back on the other hand, won’t be thanking you for a few weeks.

Ps: A dear friend and reader, shout-out to Marlon, suggested I blog about something I’m clueless about, like rugby. I wonder how I could ever integrate rugby into wr3ckreation. Any suggestions?  

Action=Reaction

I don’t often like to post very personal issues on the blog, but at times like these when I feel quite overwhelmed with my present situation; it is good to have some writing space. Only one sentence in and already spell check is underlining everything! Sigh. This is not going to be one of those soppy posts, no. In fact, life in general is going quite well at the moment. Maybe a bit like a first time driver in a manual car, but well nonetheless…

So I don’t completely understand where my current preoccupation with starting up drama is coming from. I have this undeniable itch to ruffle some feathers, and not just because I’m bored. I want a REACTION. I am feeling quite numb inside from trying to stifle these feelings while trying to inspire those feelings. No specifics needed, but let’s assume there are significant other(s) involved. These significant others don’t know it yet but I’ve been plotting for days (and nights), and have finally come to the conclusion that….. wait for it: That I have no idea what to do with myself. I feel lost.

Work.HARD.

via outsapop.com/

I haven't been able to post in such a long time and it felt like missing an old friend. I hate it when school and life get in the way of things I love but just as I was browsing through my daily blog reads, I found this really inspirational post. It fell right into my lap at the perfect time, as I'm currently falling apart over 10 dresses that I have to design and sew before 31 March....On top of my school work load!

But here I am, all perked up and ready to give it my all. *deep breath*
Wish me luck

PS: Its good to have yet another friend join the blogging community, check out her blog crippledreality.blogspot.com/

The Winds At My Feet

beauty is odd

You always know when a change is about to come. It is that instinct that has gotten our species this far. But very often I find myself wanting to go the other way. To turn my back on change. To try and maintain things the way they are. To hold onto what I know. And that time is now. I can feel the boisterous winds of change at my feet. Gnawing at my ankles like hungry dogs; and I don’t know which way to turn. The hurts of last year are still too fresh in my mind, and the infestations of doubt and denial are spreading. I feel trapped, not because I have nowhere to go, but because this is not the road I want to be on.

All I can do is hope that this road, will get me to where I need to be.

Paradise, burn!

Image from http://www.thelensflare.com/

This will be my last confession

I love you never felt like any blessing

Whispering like it's a secret

Only to condemn the one who hears it

With a heavy heart

Florence and the machines- Heavy in your arms

Words of a Dreamer

Image from http://www.imaginature.nl/

From where I stand I see not the moon tonight,perhaps it has chosen to shy away in the presence of your beauty.... If we could, and if you would allow it, I'd ask you to dance with me tonight.

And when the moon finally shines brightly in the night sky,all our secrets will be revealed. I'll take your hand, and there will be no rain or snow. There will be only you and me.

 

Cry With the Saints

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait

Some say it's better but I say it ain't

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints

the sinners are much more fun...

I recently came across the song Only The Good Die Young by Billy Joel [via an episode of glee] and although it does sound blasphemous, for those pious people, I felt just a tad inspired to LIVE MORE.
Hence here's a list of a couple of things people don't know about me.

1. I love to read because its a form of escape from my otherwise mundane life. I lose myself in the characters and actually live through them.
2. I fold the bottom of my jeans till just above my ankles because I'm very short and petite and I read somewhere that it makes you look taller.
3. I wish I had a little more flesh on my bones
4. I wish my skin was as dark as my sister's so my acne scars wouldn't show so much
5. I'm never satisfied with what I have because yes, I do believe contentment kills creativity and someone once told me never to lower any expectations. Once you start, all the others follow.
6. I have GREAT EXPECTATIONS. Some might call them delusions of grandeur.

What don't people know about you?

BORN FREE

In Namibia those born after Independence are often called the "born frees". This picture just inspires me to celebrate my individual independence and take every day as it comes![I was born free after all] It brings back memories of the poem Dream of This by Marianne Williamson

"You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people do not feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.It is not just in some of us, it is in all of us."

Secrets

 Image from Post secret

I just got a phone call from a really dear friend and she reminded me that life is what you make of it. I was feeling a little down and out earlier, about nothing in particular, but it was just one of those days.

I am generally scared of large open spaces BECAUSE they make me feel insignificant but i love being out on rooftops or on empty roads early in the mornings or late at night just because they do make my problems seem tiny. I love the general idea of  posting random secrets to be published for the world to see. I find many of the secrets inspirational and wonder about the people who wrote and sent them. I would post a secret myself but I fear that I don't have any secrets worthwhile?
I'll give it a try.One day soon
Anyone hearing Secrets by One republic in the background?